I’ve heard stories about you, Virgo. You’re a mess right now. You’ve opened the wrong chakras and charged the wrong crystals and it’s starting to get dark in the forest. Luckily the ink is not dry yet, and you’ve still got time to work the inkblots of your life to your advantage.
Venus has approached your wheelhouse this summer and she requires both sacrifice and affection. Hang a wreath of leaves and one red jasper stone in a window facing north-west. If you have no such window you can ask a neighbor who’s willing to help you. Place a palm print on the window from a hand lightly smeared in peppermint oil to establish a connection between the yourself and the sun. Don’t wash the window until the end of September. This will be your sign of affection.
For your sacrifice you will need to tie a red string around a black birthday candle and light it every day at noon, no matter where you are. Give your energy back to the void by capturing the smoke in a bottle and blow it out at great speed.
I’m hitting the ground running here after my hiatus. If any Aries. Taurus, Gemini or Cancer missed reading their fortune I’m sorry, but there’s nothing to be said. Your star sign simply cannot be detected on the tapestry of life and as the great interpreter of the Astral Highway I’m assuming you’re all dead. On the inside, anyway.
And you, Leo, narrowly escaped the event horizon of internalized void. You stretched out, grabbed onto life with both hands and really squeezed the lemons out of it.
Saturn enters your quadrant this month and will definitely rock the proverbial boat quite hard. To ease the tensions, rose quartz pebbles must be laid down in your kitchen sink to connect with the flowing water of your tap until the very end of August. If you see any spiders during this time, be sure to greet them warmly and leave them be.
Work will be harder than normal this month and your coworkers might be more glum than you’re used to, so be sure to bring a bundle of sage to your office. Get the sage smoking in the break room to soothe and rinse their auras.